What about Happily Ever After?!

Helllooooo after a long hiatus. I apologize for that.. A lot of things have happened in the last month. I got myself knocked up again…. (damn you MCSquared) and I’ve basically been in a coma. I’ve finally emerged from my first trimester, dusted off the cobwebs, picked up my 2 year old that has aged and now calls me “mother” instead of “mama” – nodded in the direction of my husband – who seemed to have stayed right where he was before my first trimester coma, and I’m back with a vengeance.

Of course – the first thing I do – like any in the closet chick flick-a-holic is get a fix. So – I scour the premium channels for a “Twilight” or a “Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day” or a “The Incredible Hulk” (that freakin Ed Norton can make unrequited love scenes in any freakin movie!!) or “Emma” or “Sense and Sensiblity” – and I think to myself… dam. I’m one of them.

I’m one of those “Happily Ever After” chicks. It’s not my fault. I didn’t do it to myself. I blame society, I blame mainstream media that promotes these freakin movies... I blame everyone else.. even the baby in the belly.

I don’t understand life after “Happily Ever After.” That climactic scene where they realize how much they love each other – and the crescendo of the music, and the kiss, and the heartbeat, and the pouring out of love and the vulnerability! I mean – is it wrong that I expect that almost every day of my life?

Sometimes, I think that I purposely create drama in my marriage so that I can have that make up moment that feels a lot like the first time we said I love you.

But here’s the revelation.

Wait for it.

Life is like that.

Okay – hear me out.

Notice, throughout the movie, there are really only 10-12 things that really stand out. Ten to 12 moments that are captured. I’m sure that in a relationship that spans the time the movie purports to have created the relationship, we all can find 10-12 things that we would admire or look at just as lovely as the movie portrays it to be. I can remember things that MCSquared has done that if I only showed those specific acts, he’d be that guy. He’d be that unbelievable – he doesn’t exist, this is crap – guy that I scoff at. There have been those longing, smoldering looks, hot sex, unrequited moments. Hidden between—oh so conspicuously—are those moments that make up life. Every belch, fart, he’s late, doesn’t show up, forgets your birthday moment. Every he forgot to wash the dishes again, I fell into the toilet because he left the seat up again, moment. Those are interwoven between the scenes that are in those happily ever after flicks. Problem is – because the focus is on the good – we seem to think that we should be able to have all that – and none of the fillers.

These movies aren’t giving an accurate picture of good deeds to bad/boring/heartbreaking things that the guy does. But it’s not the movie’s job is it.



It’s ours.



Not that I don't blame my mom, but you bet your bottom buck that I will explain fully that what we see in those chick flicks can be life -if we want it to be that way. We could focus on the good, focus on the happy. Make those moments our movie moments. Not to the extent that it makes us blind. Remember, in chick flicks, the girl ends up with the GOOD guy. So – you have to keep your eyes open enough to know that this is a good guy, but when you find them, focus on the good moments.. Those that make the movie reel of your life. Then the rest is filler.. It’s life that goes on when the movie pans to the next day. Rather than jumping through that time, you’re living through that time.



I’m going to explain that to my kid. You can have your Happily Ever After…



You just have to make it that way.

(this is how it's done.. but it doesn't always work!)