Okay - so - I was at a bar tonight, having a grand 'ol time with friends, at a place that I absolutely love, with one of the best bartenders in town, serving me one of the best made tequila gimlets ever...
And then in walks Dr. Condescension. An older gentleman. I'd say - about 9 million years old. Rich enough. But he was there alone. I'll leave that up to you to decide what that might have meant. He was nice enough, a little in your face, but nice enough. And then the topic of Michael Jackson came up.
Okay. No matter what your opinion of Michael Jackson is, like him or not, crazy or not, pedophile or not, he was a one of a kind performer. There has never been a performer like him before.
So, Dr. Condescension (too long to type - I'll call him Dr. Con) got all hot and heavy about Michael Jackson. Clearly he didn't like Michael Jackson. That's fine. But my friend Cheeza argued that in her lifetime, he was what she considered-the best performer. Dr. Con was beyond himself in saying that she was crazy and that there were other performers that were much better performers than Michael Jackson.
When pressed to name a few, he couldn't come up with any performers during our lifetime (anywhere within the last 30-40 years).
But what got me - I mean - what really got me - was the tone he took in addressing us. Phrases such as - don't make me embarrass you, or - I was around when MTV first came on the air (to which I rebutted - yeah -but did you watch it (I wanted to add - you old geezer... how old were you in the 80's - 8 million years old?!) which would have made me no better than him - sooo I didn't!). He was so condescending - I was disgusted.. He just kept saying phrases to make us feel bad, not to bolster his own argument. He would say things like, "Well - you're a revisionary of history" (because we did not agree that Michael Jackson actually grabbed his nutsack, but he simply placed his hand over his genital area while pumping his hips back and forth) just to make us feel terrible about ourselves, because we didn't agree with his opinion.
I just wanted to end the discussion. In fact, I think I said - I think we need to end this conversaion and agree to disagree..... and he couldn't handle that, and just kept on going.
Here's the thing. The point is not to rip Dr. Con a new one (because at his age, you might not even have to rip - a soft touch may simply rip it off...) but - why be condescending?!
So - in case you're not sure how to handle a situation where you have differing opinions with either a friend or a stranger - here are some helpful tips (I caveat all that with saying that I have no social working or psychiatric degree, don't plan on getting one and do not intend anyone to take these tips as anything more than sage advice from a really really really smart chinese girl with parents from Chiner.)
The most important thing is to figure out what you wanna do in the discussion.
Do you want the other person to understand your point? Discuss your point, openly allowing the other person to discuss their point. You can have differing opinions and still be able to discuss them.. and if they still don't understand your point, slap them and simply walk out. (okay - not really - but wouldn't that be funny?)
Do you want the other person to agree with you? Well then - you gotta work a little harder for this one... Put all your best arguments together, and present them with gusto. But heck, if that person doesn't agree with you - you gotta be prepared for the let down - and let it go. Or - you can slap them and simply walk out. (you may be a bit more incensed, so - this might actually be quite tempting.)
Do you wanna be right? Well then - be prepared to be slapped and have the recipient simply walk out on you.
I mean - isn't this a little bit of common sense. No one wants to be told they are wrong to have the opinion they have (which confuses me - because how can an opinion be wrong - but okay - wutev), But on top of that - to be told such phrases that have the equivalent weight of being told that your mom is a ho - you should be aware that you are going to lose a potential friend or relationship. Generally speaking, people who want to be right - will use any method to win. In fact, these types of people are best known for putting others down for feeling the things they feel because they want to win a point. So - this group is most likely to use any of the above-mentioned Dr. Con statements.
So - to these people inflicted with Dr. Con syndrome - I implore you. SHUT UP!!
I suppose the moral of the story is - be yourself, and if you are one of those condescending people -loosen up - and realize - no one's arguing with you - because no one wants to talk to you if you keep it up!
Sorry to be such a downer, but he totally destroyed my evening...But I'm gonna feng shui my bed to maximize efficient evil spell throwing at Dr. Con for messing up my night, and then go peacefully to bed.
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