Pretend my friends

We all pretend in our lives.

It generally starts out young. For example, when you're crying and your mom or dad tells you to stop crying, and you stop because you pretend that you don't want to cry anymore— even though you probably do. Or how about when your parents told you to go to sleep—you pretend to sleep and eventually you do.

Then you get a little older. You start pretending about other more interesting things. Pretending takes on a whole new kind of look. You start to pretend you don’t like a boy that you really like to show that boy that you don’t like them, to get them to be interested in you. Hm.

Then – there’s the whole pretending you aren’t going a bit hormonally crazy when you first get your period and get really angry and upset at everyone around you. You pretend not to be hurt when someone bullies you – and you pretend that what your friends/family say/says don’t/doesn’t really matter. You pretend to be stronger than you really are. Eventually you are—at least outwardly to the world.



But I wonder. Why is the world obsessed with pretending? Think about it – isn’t that what entertainment is all about? The whole entertainment and fashion industry is built around this idea of pretending to be in a place, in a situation that is not your own. Even characters in the show/movie/play/musical that you are watching are pretending they are feeling the emotions they don’t have- and eventually – to a certain extent – even if it’s limited to the show/movie/play/musical – they actually feel the feelings they are pretending to feel.

Isn’t that why a lot of actors/actresses fall for each other? Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, Brangelina, Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy, Jada Pinkett and Will Smith, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.—all together from shows where they played romantic love interests…

Whole societies base a big part of their lives on pretending. Arranged marriages that still happen in a number of Asian countries are built on pretending. Pretending to be in a marriage and pretending to care about a person you just met may actually, eventually lead to a real love blossoming, and therefore a family built around loving parents.

But isn’t there something a bit nice about the pretending? Have you ever gotten up and was sad about something. Then, you said to yourself, I’m not going to be sad about that – and you “pretended” that you were happy. Something about that pretending makes you a bit happier than if you kept up the whole doom and gloom over whatever it was that was making you sad.

But it doesn’t work with everything – does it?

For example, if you pretend to not love someone – can you not love them? I suppose eventually. But is it because you pretended you didn’t love that person, or is it because time passes and time heals all wounds? You still carry a flame for this person – as evidenced by anytime they walk into the room and your heart suddenly goes pitter patter.

Can you pretend that away? And if you could would you want to?

As you get a bit older, you’ve come full circle, and you try not to pretend anymore. You think that pretending is stupid, and you pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn how to be honest with yourself and others. Pretending isn’t real life. To be in the now and really live life, you have to live it through every broken heart, through every honest feeling. Pretending you don’t feel a certain way only makes you prolong the length of that feeling (happy or not) in your life. Because you don’t really face it. You don’t really address it. So, it may be pushed to one side, but it’s never fully dealt with – and it comes back to haunt you.

But we continue to do it to a certain extent. For a lot of people – it’s a coping mechanism, or a defense mechanism. Sometimes the here and now is too difficult to deal with.

We all need our escape I suppose.

I still pretend in my life. I pretend I’m smarter than I feel, and a lot of times that works. Sometimes I get called out – and I look like a bumbling fool, but if I get away with it 8 out of 10 times, you’d better believe I’m going to pretend my way out of most situations. I pretend to be certain about things I’m not. I pretend to be stronger than I really am, I pretend to be more confident and self assured. I have myself convinced a lot of times that I am, but when the lights are down, and no one’s around – you can’t pretend. You can’t lie to yourself. You can only lie/pretend to others. It’s the perception of what you are pretending by yourself or others that keeps the pretense alive. But you know the truth when you’re alone. Bolstered or not in those few moments of pretend, eventually the truth comes out, and you’re left to deal with it, ready or not.

Ready or not – I’m going to pretend I’m the world’s best blogger and that you, dear reader, think I’m amazingly fascinating and can’t wait for the next installment.

Ah – makes me feel soo good!