Hello, My name is Dyang, and I'm a Dancing with the Stars-aholic.

Why do I love Dancing with the Stars? Two Words.

Derek Hough.

Okay- that’s not true.

Maxim Chmerkovskiy.

Okay – that’s not true either.

Here’s the real truth. I can BEAT THEM. I can totally do better than most of those stars. Well – maybe not the ones who’ve been trained and are dancing/singing performers. But – the others? Oh yeah – I can rock step their world—I say to myself as I take another GINORMOUS helping of ice cream from the Haagen Daaz Vanilla Swiss Almond Pint, and scratch my bum.

Everyone has the bug in them. The — “I could have gotten famous” —bug in them. I didn’t have a bug. I had an epidemic. I had the plague version of it. I couldn’t get into (as in watch – not actually get on the show) American Idol, because my thing was singing, and frankly, I’m too old to be on American Idol. (Dammit – isn’t there a constitutional thing against that – like ageism?) So – that hit too close to (my ego) home.

So – going through all the reality TV shows, the only one that has stuck (from Top Chef, to Project Runway) is Dancing with the Stars. What do I like about it? I like that these incredibly beautiful, agile, and thin women’s skin wrinkles up when they turn/contort their bodies—making it look like sometimes there’s some fat there… There isn’t – but there something about that wrinkled skin that puts a smile on my face. I like that these “celebrities” are D list celebrities, so you could actually RELATE to some of these people as human. Also, despite their celebrity, they all truly want to be a part of the show, convincingly. They all seem to genuinely be vested in winning. I like it because of the ½ nekked guys (and the pretty girls - , who really aren’t that great looking (not- that was for MCSquared’s benefit), but look AMAZING on the dance floor. I love it mainly for the dances. My strategy in watching it is to DVR it. Then watch it either after each show, or after both shows, so I have all two shows and yummy goodness at my fingertips. The only judge I like is Lenny, but even with that said, I fast forward through not only the commercials but also the judges. If I hear one more, “woohoo” from Caryann Inaba (sp?) or one more crazy screaming fit (I can’t really understand much of what he says) from Bruno, it will be too soon. I watch the footage of them working, and then the actual dance. I love seeing the bodies change shape and form. You see toner, leaner bodies of the celebrities towards the end of the show. I love the costumes, dress up, the hair. I love seeing the transformation of what looks like a complete mess, to something amazing on stage.

And I can’t help but think – I can DO THAT! I probably wouldn’t be able to do a simple (impressed?) quick quick or slow slow mambo cha cha cha… All I know is that for the two hours I’m watching them—I’m convinced that I can do the dance too.

I suppose that’s the reason why it’s such a good show. You escape to become a D-list celebrity, who has a lot invested in winning a dancing show.

That and… Derek Hough.