Boys vs. Girls

I had dinner with a bunch of friends today- and yet again- the topic of "Dating in the Dark" came up - but only because in this particular episode, a slightly overweight girl was matched up to a hairline receding guy - who was - for all intents and purposes - better looking (in the conventional way) than she was.

After the big reveal, he said that he would go on a date with her, even though she wasn't his ideal type. The girl, on the other hand, decided that she couldn't do it - because his hairline was receding.

So - one person at the dinner, we'll call him Rocker, basically said she rejected him because she knew he'd eventually reject her, and that she needed to reject him first, to save herself the heartache.

Luscious didn't agree... She said, what makes you think that the girl really didn't like the guy? She could have just been unattracted to him simply because the guy didn't have hair. Sure, the guy was hotter, but maybe her thing was hair, and the idea of the guy losing it, perhaps, disgusted her to a point beyond being able to overlook it in light of his current hotness. She further emphasized that - if it was a guy rejecting this girl based solely on thickness of hair - it wouldn't be such a shocker (i.e., she wasn't skinny enough, she wasn't tall enough, boobs weren't big enough, but butt, etc...) but if a girl decides to be a bit shallow - that's unthinkable.

Rocker said yes. Perhaps it wasn't unthinkable - but it was unlikely.

And I'd have to say I agree with him.

We, as girls, are taught from a young age that as long as we are beautiful, thin, and not necessarily intelligent (after all, how smart do you have to be to be a princess, who just waits around to be rescued by a prince ... ) and compliant to men (it would help if you could communicate with animals - but - whatever) Prince charming will come - rescue you - and all your dreams will come true. Truth be told - he could look like anything. He could even look like a beast, but seek inner beauty - and (like a broken record) all your dreams will come true.

What equivalent boy movie has a guy falling for a girl's "inner beauty?" No Beauty and the Beast equivalent here. Boys are basically given a "what you see is what you get" kind of presentation. But - if the boys were to watch the same exact princess (take any Disney princess movie) that girls watched, the "what you see is what you get" presentation is a gorgeous, often slim, often wide eyed, often long locked, sweet, thoughtful, cater to your every whim girl.

Where ARE these girls - because - seriously I don't know any.

But more importantly, boys aren't taught that all their dreams will come true when they become prince charming to some princess. They're taught to be super heroes, or action heroes, or some type of hero. Prince doesn't equal Hero. Hero saves, and then goes away. There's no commitment. But - a prince?!? A prince will meet the princess, marry - and eventually become king and queen of whatever land, and that's how all the dreams come true (for the princess). Who knew that the prince might potentially dump you if you gain a few too many pounds, get too old, or cut your hair.

But - I agreed with Rocker because men and women are inherently different because of this terrible start they get. But more importantly - girls believe that what they see is just a slightly less polished version of what they could potentially have. They see potential, they see projects.. Men on the otherhand see it all. And then they decide whether or not sex with you (or a relationship - yada yada yada) is worth all the other crap and baggage that the woman might come with, rather than scheme a way of trying to fix it, or make it better (like women often do).

I don't think this is necessarily applicable in every situation - but in most situations - I do. I think women are becoming more and more like men, in that, with the new sexual revolution, women have now decided for themselves they could be just as shallow as men, and that's great.

Which brings me to my point. We can all be shallow if we really want to be. Okay - that isn't my point at all. My point is - I'm going to teach my baby girl (and I hope other people teach their baby girls this too - but its not homework) that all her dreams CAN come true, as long as she decides to make that happen, and that she see the guy she wants to be for what he is - and then decide whether or not A RELATIONSHIP (as my daughter will maintain her purity until after she's married and has had at least 4, no 5 kids...)with the guy is worth all the other crap and baggage that he might come with... and know that she has no control over whether all the things she does or doesn't like change.

But I'm still going to dress her up in pretty little clothes, because some differences should stay as they are...