Soul-mates

So -I was talking to a friend tonight about soul-mates. What is your idea of a soul mate. It seemed like a simple enough answer...

But it isn't - is it.

I believe I married my soul-mate. Being Chinese, and a born-again Christian, I don't think I'm going to end up in the enlightened place, or heaven, because I always seem to mesh those two religions -but - my friend and I disagreed on the definition of soul-mates...

She had a much more stringent, strict view on soul-mates. My friend, we'll call her Kitty, believes that we are all on our paths to heaven. You have a soul-mate, one 1/2 to your whole. But, each life's goal is to learn the lesson that is intended by God for you to learn. Not necessarily to encounter your soul-mate. If it is in your life's lesson to meet them, then you meet. But otherwise, you can go lifetimes without seeing them - until it is your time to see them, as they assist in the overall lesson that God wants you to learn - for yourself- before you reach heaven. She believes that love like that come very infrequently- and that it is a rarity to see true soul-mates find each other.

I have a much more open idea about soul-mates. I believe we are, like Kitty believes, two halves of a whole. But I feel that we spend lifetimes searching for each other. And in each lifetime, we always find each other. But I don't believe that soul-mates have to be between a girl-boy relationship to be defined as soul-mates. I believe, even though I am Christian, that we can be reincarnated after we die. That is it up to God to decide when we die, die - to be brought to heaven, or sent to heck. But - that in the end, we can go back and be reincarnated again. And - when we die, there is a bit of chaos to decide exactly what you come back as. It may be a boy, girl, animal, etc... But that we are always drawn to our soul-mates, and we always, ultimately find each other - because of that draw. It is like when you feel that you've met someone before, or, you keep encountering a person over and over again, like the cosmic worlds want you to meet.

I also believe that you travel with the same group of people... which explains why you always feel an attraction towards some people - and a repulsion for others... and further, an indifference for MANY others...

It doesn't mean that your life with your soul-mate is an easy one. Kitty thinks that when you meet your soul-mate, you fit together like peas in a pod. Like a key and a lock. I disagreed with her. I think - if you knew that you were soul-mates, you'd let that happen, naturally, like the cosmic forces are trying to tell you to allow it. (I didn't discuss this part with Kitty in depth, as now I am thinking about it - it is coming to me a bit more... after analysis..) I think, we are too immature to realize what is happening to us, and we fight it. We fight what we don't understand, we fight because we naturally try to protect ourselves from what we don't know, we fight because we're scared, and the instinct to protect ourselves, far outweighs letting our guard down initially. So- it takes us time to recognize what we have before us, and realize what it is...

I visited my husband's room in college before I knew who he was... I spoke to him on the phone to see if he could give me some advice on a class I was taking, before actually meeting him. Both times, I really didn't like what I saw- in both his room (boy - a geek and a neat freak - I only wish now that he continued to be a neat freak!!) and I hated talking to him on the phone... And then we met in person, and even then, I didn't know that he was my soul-mate... But then - as we talked about our lives, our likes, our dislikes, going to the same area of schools, being interested in the same areas of study... I began to really think, boy - there were so many times our lives crossed paths... I began to believe, fervently, that we were meant to meet.

Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been the easiest of relationships. It has actually been hard as heck. But - what makes me know he is my soul-mate is because the very idea of thinking that he might not be in my life makes me suffocate. I still tingle when he walks into a room. He still makes my heart skip a beat. And no one can make me cry like he does... Because he has that kind of hold on me.

I said to Kitty that, when you see soul-mates you know. She says, what you see is a very superficial version of what people interpret as soul-mates. I wonder though - if so many people see the same thing - doesn't that count for something?