Not IRA - VRA!

Okay. So - I just read Twilight written by Stephenie (sp?) Meyers. It inspired that movie with that delicious lead actor playing the role of Edward. (Robert Pattinson - I had to look it up).

I didn't want to read it. I mean - I wrote an entire blog about how romantic chick flicks (derived mostly from romantic chick books - like this one) are the worst things that can ever happened to women, yada yada yada...

So - Kitty gets me to read this book. She's very similar to me in situation and circumstance, so - I figure - okay - lemme read it just to reaffirm how much I'm right about this book being what we women don't need it to be. Another book that gives pre-women (afterall - the target audience for this book is 12-16) the impression that this sensitive caring man (worse - a VAMPIRE) is out there to save them from themselves, and love them unconditionally.

And I was absolutely right. The writing was mediocre. The description of the desire Edward felt for Bella and visa versa, too much about rage than about passion...

And I couldn't put the daggone book down.

What the heck is wrong with me? Aside from the fact that I love chick flicks - despite my protests, and I'm not normally a literary snob - especially since I can barely read.

So - rather than just appreciate a good thing (the book is actually extremely consuming... and, as Kitty argued, it sucks you in and draws you into the plot until you're ignoring people, places and things around you that are important... (and it happened to me - like Tuesday follows Monday -she was totally right about my reaction to the book) I tried to analyze why I was so drawn into it.

It boils down to three things. Vulnerability, reassurance, and appreciation. (The V to the R to the A.... what can I say - I'm an 80's kid...)

Okay - for those of you who don't know the plot - or did not read the book or watch the movie, stop now if you want to - because this is a complete spoiler alert...

******* I warned you ************


Vulnerability
The book is good because the hero and heroine are extemely vulnerable to each other - and it is apparent that this is not a characteristic of either of them. They are introverted... and yet - because of their newfound love for one another - it leaves them vulnerable to each other completely, and they seek each other out. They wear their love for each other on their sleeves (whatever that means.. I never really got that saying... what I mean to say is openly). And - this vulnerability can never be quashed because of their circumstance.

Reassurance.
I'm talking about a reassurance of his love for her and a reassurance of her love for him. Edward is a vampire, and Bella isn't. He is always attracted to the smell of her blood, but there is something about Bella that he cannot explain that makes him want to be near her - rather than shun her as he's done all the other humans in this town. He's taken on a 'vegetarian' diet -which means - he doesn't feed on humans, but on animals - because of a higher conscience, but it doesn't mean that he is not drawn to human blood. Therein lies the dilemna. He is a constant danger to Bella because at any point -his willpower is the only thing holding him back from the frenzy of wanting to suck the blood out of her - and she is allowing herself to be in constant danger of that. Everytime they are with each other, and it is painstakingly reinforced over and over and over again in the book - they reassure each other, just by their presence, and the danger that is tied to it, how much they love each other. So - there is never a doubt, never a question. There is a constant push (because of the danger) and a pull - because of the love. So- as a woman - who's usual complaint is not really knowing whether or not her man still loves her - we eat this stuff up.

Appreciation
Finally - there is appreciation. Neither of them take each other for granted, because their relationship is so tenuous. Their relationship is held together by the strong - but very tested - bond of love. Because of the constant reassurance of that love, neither of them takes each other for granted (which is also painstakingly reinforced over and over and over again... sigh).. because they know that it is because they love each other so much that they are together - so - no moment is wasted, no time is wasted... Every word, every touch, every breathe is cherished. (usually - I barf here - but the bizarre set of circumstances in this book makes it work.)

So - to parallel that in our lives, once the beginning of the relationship (the honeymoon phase - if you will) is over in a relationship - we (the two people in the relationship) rarely are vulnerable to each other again, we do not reaffirm how we feel ever day, and there is little - if not any appreciation. On both parts. I don't think this is a complete woman thing. I just think that as a relationship progresses, this is how it goes.

And reality is, there are less than wonderful moments between Edward and Bella, and if it were not written as fleeting, but actually occurring in our lives, we wouldn't look too kindly on it. For example, waiting days to see him, would have KILLED me if I were 17. I would have simply said - this is not the guy for me- and moved on. But what makes their love so unmistakable (sp?) is that despite all these hiccups, they still hold out for each other, openly, palms up.

So - I suppose the reason why I loved the book so much was getting a taste of what I want/still need from my man. Its true - he's pretty good with stuff like that usually - even though he's an asian man - he's a bit of a machisimo macho man.. but - he still finds his ways.

I suppose, living through this book, is one way to get your jollies.. (like I am right now). But - you can probably get your own Twilight saga if you take those small moments of vulnerability, reaffirmation and appreciation, and blow them up the way the book does - when it comes to romantic moments in your own life. They may not happen often, but when they do - make a huge a$$ deal about it.

And luscious, that's not homework.